• Indu

My duty as a woman

Updated: Feb 19, 2019


As a 19-year-old, I never thought I would have the "baby" conversation as much as I have. Quite frankly I never assumed I would have to have the baby conversation at all because I knew I did not desire children ever since I was in elementary school. However, in a world where you are allowed to have choices only as long as they abide by the general expectations, I have had to put on my lawyer hat one too many times to defend my decisions and my path to happiness. As mentioned before I do not want to have children of my own and it is not due to a lack of love toward the little rascals, as I am the person who will ask to be seated at the kid's table for any family gathering, but due to a lack of desire to pursue that path of life. Not once have I cradled by toys as a child and called them my kids. I never had names picked, nor do I have pinterest boards dedicated to nurseries. I did not equate undying, unconditional love with children and I never envied mothers playing with their off springs. I admired them, and I appreciated them, but I never wanted to be them.  Now, wait, what?

How could I, a woman, someone equipped with a uterus and a vagina not want children?  I have wracked my brain for lengthened periods of time trying to come up with a list of reasons which could satisfy the question; however, they are never good enough for anyone asking as people always, undoubtedly,  respond with "You will soon change your mind?" Therefore, I have decided to stop providing answers and defending my choices. Now when people ask why I do not want children, I say "Because I don't want to."   The individuals at the receiving end of my statement will most likely get offended at this point. However, I am done wasting my breath, trying to justify my decisions.  My choices are not for you to weigh. My choices are not yours. Moreover, my choices are not my partners either.  After asking why the second most asked question is "what if your husband wants children"? Well, he would not be my husband. If I came to you and said "I am about to do something because my significant other wants that makes me really unhappy" you would tell me to run. So why is it any different when that something is children?  The world is changing fast, and all I can do is work toward loosening the ties between motherhood and womanhood. But until then if you who are reading this are like me and do not want children to stand tall and know they are plenty of women just like us. And if you who are reading this are someone who pushes women like me to have children, well, simply, don't do that.

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